OK, so as of last night both of our family know that we are engaged. That’s good news!!! I think her parents are still taking all this in as when we told them her dad just ate his Ice cream all quite and alone. But started to talk to him and we got into a conversation. The ring on her is almost like putting a small star on a band and putting it on her finger. Still in the sate of awe every morning as I wake up, and alot of stress has lifted up off me. well back to work now. :(
Some times it just to hard not to break down in front of people, even the one that make you happy. People hurt other people and that is how this world works sometimes. I cry and I admit to it. Its not a sign of weakness but rather a sign that you are still living.
diaryofasecretworld-deactivated asked: Never gonna happen!
aw, Would you rather not know what could happen? Would you rather see him with someone else? It sucked when I asked Veronica out I though she was way too good for me. But here I am with a ring on her finger.
diaryofasecretworld-deactivated asked: :) The new 30 seconds to mars video Hurricane was released last night. I'm a big fan! Their music is very theraputic.
Oh, ok well i hate that band, lol sorry i guess I’m not with the “IN crowd” My Fiance loves them tho so i guess ill put up with them for now. But thanks for tell me what its about. :P
A bit busy.
So ever since last Monday when I asked My girlfriend to marry me (which she said yes fyi) I have been a busy little guy as of lately but that’s due to the holidays and family get togethers. Sorry that I haven’t let kept up the blog but Life just gets in the way some times. Sad story is that I still don’t get to see my “soon to be” all that much more. But knowing that the fact that she said she would marry me has lifted this tension off me. I didn’t even know I had it. Kinda blows my mind. Well, long story short. Mon asked her to be my wife, she said yes. Tue, just a regular Tuesday But with this feeling of Aweness. Wensday went to work then got home and went to a hockey game (we won) and then on Thanksgiving dropped my fiance off at the airport @ 8am and missed her till Sunday night when she was in my arms by 8:10pm. After a 14 hour car ride she zonked out by 10:30 and I woke up to go to work so I wont see her till Fri night so in reality I still miss seeing my fiance. Some good news tho, The family ring is on the way to my work and will be ready to be on her finger the next time she sees me.
Crazy freaking Night.
So last night I got engaged. Yep ENGAGED. seem so unreal. I will keep you guys up to date and I will tell you how I all unfolded.
Passed couple of days.
Well not a lot to report. Its been nice not having to worry about things that have been on my mind. Everything is patching up with my girlfriend. The only really thing that I’m looking forward to is Fri night and Sat night. I have some big plans for both of them and I will be with my girlfriend from Fri to Thurs. So it will be nice to be in her company as it is always. The good vibrations are bleeding off into work and I see my self a lot more focus, which is always good. Here’s a little note on the side I have ADHD (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) I took Imipramine and Ritalin. I have been off of them for a long time now since I hit High school. It deeply depresses me that Imipramine is really a antidepressant. I was taking that stuff when I was like 10. My parent never told me it was an antidepressant, they just said its for my ADHD. So I wonder about my self. How was I when I was 10, was I that bad that I needed meds? Talk to my girlfriend about it. She did the useaual, its not that bad don’t let it get you down then she has to go. I feel really bad about this because I can’t even remember all that much of my childhood. What else did my parents lie to me about? I know I had alot of problems when I was a kid. I moved a lot so I kept losing my friends. I was an outcast when I lived in Maine a lot, but that didn’t bother me that I was alone. It was the happiest of times when I would disapper into the woods and not come home till nightfall. It was when my family be happy with each other. I do feel like I was a big reason my parents got a divorce. May be if I didn’t need all the attation that was needed for my faults things would have changed? Nothing will ever come good in a divorce, so please make sure you marry for the right reasons. If you don’t it effects more then just the people who are getting the divorce. So since my day has come from a good morning to a gray glooming day, I will think about my past and how if effects me to this day.
Update 2.0
So last night I talked to a really good friend of mine who moved away. Shes like my little sister. Its always nice to talk about your problems with someone who I know won’t talk about them unless it’s with me. I feel bad that I can talk to her this way but as of right now I can’t with my girlfriend. Yesterday I didn’t try and talk to my girlfriend or text her. Today she asked if I was doing OK and I told her I was just being quiet, which in terms is true but shes not getting the whole story. My trust with my girlfriend is a little broken. Long story short, she tell people things i tell her and I have to deal with the aftermath of it all. I forgave her for it. But I do second guess on tell her things no. I got so use to telling my girlfriend everything now its kinda hard not too. Oh well time just to think about it and over analyze it. I don’t really dwell on the problem it’s self but I dwell on how it should be fixed. That is what a lot of people mistake about me. I get angry because I can’t fix it or know how to. I know time fixes all but what if you don’t want to wait? Sometimes I wish I would just get drunk and it would wash my problems out of the way. But sadly I know too much and I know that it dose not work that way. :(
3 plays • Download
Been looping this song for about a hour now. Glad I don’t have a lot of work to do.
It takes 2 to keep the spark alive.
I like to talk about my relationship a lot. It whats is most current in my life. Everything should be half and half. Romance works both ways. If the spark dies in a relationship its due to both peoples fault. failure to communicate with each other will doom it and when you are in a long distance relationship small thing become stuff you hold on too. I text my girlfriend a lot, just to show her that I think about her. We don’t have to have a conversation by any means. But when only I text saying “hey just thinking about you” or “I love you” it really feels like its one way. I asked her if she thinks of me when shes away and she replies of course I do. I believe it, but is it too much to ask her to return the favor. I want to know that she thinks about me. It takes 5 sec to text “I love you” or even “Just thinking of you”. been asking her to do it for awhile now and she still doesn’t do it. I don’t want to turn out just talking once a night like her exes. She says that won’t happen but I do think differently. I think I will just stop texting her those little moments when I think of her. When I ask for just a pic of her because I miss seeing her face for a bit she won’t and it adds up. It really seems like I am the only one that wants to keep the spark from going out. So I will just stop trying now. If the spark goes out It will not be because of me. Being a Romantic is a double bladed sword people be aware of it. (fyi when she texts complaining about something that doesn’t count.)
Do you think I am in the right?
